summits

summits

haibun poem exercise, number two
 

the mountain summit gleaming like a star, even when clawing its mark into lowering clouds, and so our necks turn the quarter hour just to appreciate from so far of foot.  lower down the goats and bears take their ease, a second gift.  feet held slower by jealous eager mud make more reverent our approach on hills yet shallow, not so much lofty as familiar, terrain we feel the comfort of between our toes.  more shortness of breath, mud pudding turned razor rock, these await.  our appreciation is two animals, one we’re willing to have at our backs and the other wild, whose eye we keep in step and wariness.  first steps will not be like the last.

a summit far bright
while foothills slumber close
untamed future only glimpsed

 

neil reid © march 2012

 
comments:    Is ignorance bliss? Still working on that!

An interesting form a Haibun is. A combination of short prose obliquely associated to a haiku, usually following. This is my second play with this form. I think I like my initial attempt somewhat better than this second (done with less time and attention available, but I still wanted to engage the WWP prompt with a fresh write now). First haibun, is blind haibun joe, if you care to read.

Admittedly I enjoyed the prose section more than the haiku, and haiku is also not much done by me, so is awkward still. Suspect the prose is “too much”, could be much edited down else produce not one but several haikus following.

This second is itching for revision I think.

Written for the We Write Poems prompt #96 Haibun party fun! (including links for more information about this poetic form). Responses of others are linked here.

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