written for the We Write Poems community
Prompt # 06 by Dan Rako, Walk a Mile
Read the prompt. Read poems written in response to the prompt.
Dan Rako suggests, “We all have people, or groups, we hold in contempt. Take some time to consider a point of view you find distasteful. Is it possible that the people with whom you disagree are well-intentioned? Is it possible that they are not evil? Use this as a springboard to write something.” (Additional detail can be found with the initial WWP prompt.)
I found this initially a difficult prompt to address. Can’t say I found the point-of-view presented so much distasteful as a wound that’s been allowed to go unhealed, and the result a most painful lesson for all concerned (which is all of us).
Chilling perhaps in the sorrow of its efficacy. This is not a poem to like.
The invisible human like a bomb
I am a voice I don’t even want to be. Here, in me.
I will strike at you like you are my pain, swatting flies.
I will move too far and too fast.
I will not find my way home.
You will miss me scattered in the rocks like I am.
You will not miss me at all when we are gone.
The wind will not remember me: only dust.
I am as sand and each grain like feelings, burnt.
You could have brought me water, but you didn’t.
Now your bones will understand.
Worthless.
neil reid © june 2010
The invisible human is a time bomb is an interesting subject Neil. Are we in fact worthy? Are we dust? The line, ‘Now your bones will understand’ is chilling.
Thank you Irene. I really appreciate your response. I don’t really believe in literal “channeling”, but that’s almost how this poem arrived. I didn’t actually expect to write this poem, thought I had nothing for this prompt – but in a spare moment, this sense of anger just quiet arose and this is what it said.
And that line you said, is the key turning point in the poem, how it comes home to us. It does give me the chills as well. Thanks Irene.
Perhaps I am way off base here, as I contemplate your poem…but I am picturing that it is a suicide bomber that you have in mind here? Chilling poem indeed.
Yes Mary, you got it exactly right. And it chills me myself to read it now! It is hard, it is painful, to realize such depth of pain exists in our world – but it so obviously does.
I abhor the result produced, but I remember after September 11th thinking what harm have we done in the world, whether all intended or not, that some people would feel so much pain, that such an act would seem a right thing to do. Hardly seemed the common thought, but I don’t think we live unconnected in this world. Hard shoes to want to step into – even briefly. But being blindfolded has consequences.
Thank you for reading Mary.
Neil, a very powerful poem. The line – “You could have brought me water, but you didn’t.” – chills me. I like the structure, each line a separate sentence, building up to that final word. A difficult poem, but a good one!
Thank you for reading Mr. Walker. Yes, it could have been “another way” in so many ways, yet sparse as that one line not taken, changing everything, changing nothing.
Like this poem is, just so slight and caught on the wind, but the “hardest” result of words I’ve ever written.
Wow. This piece is stunning on so many levels. And it hurts to read it.
What struck me the most is two things: 1) how you use your imagery in connecting the person’s thoughts and understanding of what he/she will become, in lines like “I am as sand and each grain like feelings, burnt”, to the literal act that he/she is about to commit, and 2) how short, sparse, and yet powerful your lines were, especially since you end-stopped all of them.
The line, “You could have brought me water, but you didn’t”, also brought chills to me.
I immediately understood that you were talking about a suicide bomber. What is so sad is that many of these individuals are women who, in their eyes, will only get a chance at Paradise by killing themselves and taking a whole bunch of people with them. I’ve read somewhere that often, these are divorced women or women who in some way have suffered shame within the context of the rules and mores of fundamental Islam for some infraction. It’s almost like they’re saving their families the trouble of shunning them or arranging an honor killing.
Stunning work this week, Neil.
-Nicole
Your response touches me Nicole. Thank you. Who’d have guessed from this poem I didn’t even want to write.
And you’re right, this poem hurts to read, and it should.
I have no pretense of really understanding the specifics of culture (although I didn’t mean any one in particular, but the general sense, just as humans are).
I take this one notion as true – that life wants life wherever it begins. What steps away from that represents a break from life itself, some damage, some harm, something that grew a lie, made fear instead. That’s how it feels to me.
Someone did harm or stood aside while another did not thrive. The result is the same. Disconnected dreams or life or love. And why the poem is as sparse as it is, reflecting that sense of being lost with no perception of a path home again, and as summed by the last and final word of the poem.
Thank you for reading Nicole.
Neil this hit quite hard!
I have no understanding of the type of person who would inflict this on mankind all in the name of god!
I am from Ny and I lost a dear friend in the 9-11 terrorist attack and I am haunted by it every waking day!
Thanks for being brave enough to write this!
Pamela
Thank you for sharing your feelings Pamela. Who in right-mind would want to understand that other state of mind? Yet who in right-heart would not want to understand that state of pain that can only see worthless acts as all that is left to them? If only to heal that gap. It is not an easy thing to dare approach!
We are not born alone, nor do we live alone. And together we reap the joys or pains of who we are, who we allow ourselves to be. I pray that we all find and nurture our shared worthiness, all of us, in all the expressions that we make.
Thank you again for sharing with us.
very powerful piece, Neil.
like in the oil spill mess, this poem brings home the point that we all bear some responsibility for everything that happens — we all have that capacity to bring water to those who desperately need a drink. our own choices can make a difference.
I enjoin your statement Angie.
we all bear responsibility for everything
we all have capacity to bring water to those who need drink
our choices make a difference
Someone much smarter than me once said, we are free in life to act in any manner we choose, however the one thing we are not free to escape are the consequences.
Thank you Angie.
Nicole pointed me here, and I’m grateful to you both.
Brave poet, writing from this point of view. Compassion is a rare gift. You write it well, choosing to see a deeper meaning, culpability, without losing the fear and pain of all the victims.
Thanks Deb. I deeply appreciate your visit and comment, both.
Maybe not brave, just willingness. I’ve been told that everyone expresses love to their measure of understanding love. Just, unfortunately, sometimes that understanding can take awful shapes and with dire consequences. A paradigm worth understanding I think considering the alternatives.
Neil,
that’s the most feeling you have ever crammed into 11 lines full of thought………….and I understand it from ‘I am …………to……….worthless’
maybe it should be called ‘I am worthless’
I think it’s one of your best.
Thank you Sean. Maybe I agree. Maybe it feels rather odd, such a monster as this poem to be one of my best!
I can just hope monsters show the way to home.
And I understand, but I’d say the notion is something more, or shifted from the common use of “worthless” – more specifically as “worth-less”, a statement in change of value, as well applied to both faces and in several given regards. It is a potent word in effect.
Thanks again. I do appreciate your comments Sean.