sixteen thoughts going on six
here’s a dream about me being awake
and in that dream someone suggested I am wiser now
than once upon some other time
like when I was sixteen as they suggested to me
so I wondered in this dream what is it now
what more do I know now more than then
if in fact I do? and I thought a list just like this in my pocket place
learn to distill honey from bitter salt words
forgive broken dreamers no matter how many
trust your heart even if it’s tempting to forget
embrace the awkwardness of learning – that’s the choice
you are here for more than you
learn to dance
so what would I tell that young boy if I could
and then I thought sixteen? well that’s not right because it’s much too late
because by then I was already long long far lost and dark
so it was obvious six or seven or eight and then at least there’d be a chance
making some difference then
I thought just who am I writing to and how would I understand
because me as the world was all different then
because if I’m doing this shouldn’t I make it really real? for that boy
so what are the words that would make sense of all this experience in sum
that now is me? and realized that only experience can honestly teach
and not words like a parent who’s already dead or
in this case not even yet born and can only express by intent of care
and besides who am I not to love to allow to let that child fall
through those many pains and become
the child like a weed inside me right now right here
and wondering what’s the better truth
and then I thought maybe he is already reading all of this
or someone is and maybe understanding happens outside me outside time
just like becoming born from nothing is and
then I found this wrinkled scrap of thought and it said
neil reid © september 2012
comments:
This poem becomes the “process” itself of the prompt idea, here laid out as a draft of string. A draft because I can’t do it better for now, because what it is was the result of over a week’s considering, evolving, yet when came was near in all one breath, just a few minutes in time (and more fuss would only make it less honest). Oft enough I’ve said, when you’re looking to resolve an image but see nothing other than your tangle of thoughts, that small dilemma, then take that process itself as the result – so my own medicine delivered here.
Neither is this my usual with words, any care for cleverness cast aside. Make it real came standing in front. What can we say to a child, the language, the understanding being all different then – but maybe so, even right now. Thus in the end, the process was circular and genuine.
Written for the We Write Poems prompt #122, Words of Wisdom
In this case, meaning this – If you could go back in time and impart a bit of wisdom to your sixteen year old self, what would you say? An almost deceptively complex and powerful prompt I think.
cowboy shoes
3 April 2013 by neil reid
cowboy shoes
Well this isn’t a poem, not yet. But yea, it, meaning me, does wanna come out to play.
There’s this prompt, write a poem with your “shadow voice”. That’s your (or my) voice that got left behind once upon a time, some part that didn’t seem safe or acceptable inside my vision of the world. Simple huh? But simple can be more confused than something complex often enough.
I keep going back to this picture of so so younger me. I felt the connection, but it was light, maybe even a slight-of-hand. Not that I mean my shadow is a child. More playful. More happy, for no good reasons at all. I held those “thoughts”. But even as I wrote the prompt for WWP it became obvious that I was still holding those “dangerous” attitudes at arms length and had to rewrite the prompt totally from scratch. That precisely is the challenge of this prompt for me!
My shadow plays. My shadow is more spontaneous. My shadow is more willing to be visible, to take a chance. He’s good natured. He will tell you what he is doing, and will invite you into the play. He’s easy to understand. It’s not so much that the world is more trustable, but he is. And that is the root of his life.
Writing that prompt was sort of my poem for me.
So that will have to do for now. Lots of work here and there to do and poems are riding in the back seat right now. Yet wanna respond to this prompt. My shadow does. And I agree.
The tip of my hat, and we’ll be back again. Soon and more more often, we both wish.
Written for the We Write Poems prompt #149, write a shadow voice poem.
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